It would be foolish of me to speak for the entire male gender, so I’m not gonna try. I AM gonna go ahead and speak for myself and other good, stand-up, Christian fellas out there though… Because I’m fairly certain they’ll agree with or at least relate to the following thoughts. I’m also going to assume that most of you reading this are female, because…let’s be honest…if you’re here, you clicked on a blog about “what a guy is looking for.” There could just as well be a blog post about what girls are looking for, but I’m not the person to write that one (maybe YOU are). That said, here are some things that go through our often-oblivious, but occasionally-observant male minds.
What we’re not looking for…
Essentially, everything that a guy finds unattractive in a girl is rooted in one thing…
When a girl is self-involved, speaks highly of herself, and puts others down to make herself feel better… It’s probably because she’s insecure.
When a girl is constantly putting herself down, making self-deprecating comments, and lacking self-confidence… It’s probably because she’s insecure.
When a girl acts provocatively, says things to get attention, and dresses to turn heads… It’s probably because she’s insecure.
When a girl is clingy, needy, desperate, and assumes the worst… It’s probably because she’s insecure.
When a girl has poor self-image, doesn’t think she’s pretty, and the way she presents herself doesn’t reflect how God views her… It’s probably because she’s insecure.
See a pattern? Of course, no one will ever be perfect, and we all have struggles (us guys have our fair share of insecurity issues, trust me). Regardless of male or female, nearly every word and action can be traced back to the way we view ourselves.
What we’re looking for…
A girl who knows who she is.
The only way a girl (or person, for that matter) can know who she is, is to understand how God sees her…
How does God see you?
He created you.
"For we are God’s masterpiece." (Eph. 2:10a NLT)
He knows you.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." (Jer. 1:5a)
He loves you.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” (John 15:9)
He thinks you’re beautiful.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." (1 Pet 3:3-4)
No seriously, He thinks you’re really beautiful.
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." (Psalm 139:14)
He gave His life for you.
"While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Rom. 5:8b)
He’s there for you.
"The Lord is near to all who call on him." (Psalm 145:18a ESV)
He has plans for you.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)
This is how God sees you. He sees a heart that He created and longs to have divine relationship with through Jesus. A person who has embraced that relationship and can grasp how valuable the heavenly Father says they are, is a person who can share in a healthy, earthly relationship…and that’s what the good guys are looking for.
A girl who understands how she’s viewed in the Lord’s eyes, can be irresistible to a guy whose eyes are on the Lord.